Russian-born, now living in France as an LGBT refugee. Most of my life has been shaped by financial instability, family problems and the feeling that “real life” is happening somewhere else. The internet was the only stable space: music blogs, forums, fanfiction, random deep dives.

This site is a continuation of that habit. I use it to keep a written trace of what is going on: migration process, mental health, study attempts, media I consume, and small pieces of everyday life. Nothing here is optimised for reach. It is mainly for myself.

• life in France as an LGBT refugee: paperwork, housing, language learning, social services;
• trauma and recovery: how BD, CPTSD and autism interact with daily routines and decisions;
• media logs: books, films, music, and games, with short reactions or longer notes;
• internet cultures and small personal websites, including experiments with this one.

• diagnoses: bipolar disorder (BD), complex PTSD (CPTSD), autistic spectrum (ASD);
• function: this site doubles as structured self-reflection and a way to track patterns over time;
• content warning: sometimes I mention trauma, dissociation, or depressive episodes, usually in a descriptive tone.

• long-term plan: reach a level where applying to a physics-related programme in a French university is realistic;
• current work: rebuilding school maths, starting physics from basics, and getting comfortable with academic French;
• side projects: drawing, building small archives of media I love, and developing this site as a slow, long-term log.